Friday, August 28, 2009

How Dare I?

Nothing like getting banned from someone's home for venting your frustrations online.
Not only have I made an ass of myself by daring to share my anger with my internet friends, but I'm also a bad influence on children due to my refusal to like everyone I meet.


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Can't get enough of Bad YouTube vids

So I'm totally digging Nickelback lately. Sad yes, but awesome too! Lilia loves Chad's sweet vocals too....I can play it on Maximum in the car, and she passes right out! Perfect lullaby music really.

As for the bad but excellent youtube, well check out my link and have a good laugh. Please.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Mommy Returns to Work

It's only temporary and only part time, but still, I have returned to the workforce.
Today marks my first day as a money maker. I'm bringin' home the big bucks now baby! Actually the cash I make this week will be going towards new highlights and a cut. I have SO MUCH gray hair it's embarrassing. Having a baby really does age a person.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Grandma and Grandpa leave town

So Lilia and I are going to LIVE. IT. UP. Whatever that means.
Today we will sit in the wading pool and eat cheerios (I'll have some tortilla chips and salsa) and watch the neighborhood folks go get the mail.
Which brings me to a troubling fact of life, that I can't seem to wrap my head around. Why is it, that when going to get the mail, people think it's totally appropriate to wear
A) Their Pyjamas
B) clothes that are too tight and too small!
I'm thinking that these people are in their homes, cleaning or pole dancing and then they think, OoOOO mail's here! So they walk down the street, passed my house to retrieve their Reader's Digest Winning envelopes. But they don't take into account that I have a young impressionable child, or I might have just finished lunch.
I'm then subjected to watching them tapdance down the street wearing sweatpants, or too-short t-shirts with big armpit stains, or worse, leather vests, sans undershirts.
Why do I have to see this? Is it because I live on the corner of this street in Strathmore? Or is it because Jesus wants me to practice tolerance and acceptance?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I watch More Treehouse than Lilia

So I've become quite the fan of Treehouse t.v. and I'm pretty familiar with all of the shows. I've come to the conclusion that
A) Yo Gabba Gabba is creepy creepy creepy.
B) The Wiggles are okay but still creepy and
C) I couldn't be more bored than when I watch, "Bob the Builder"

But what really has me thinking, is why does Lilia love those four square scenes so much???
Her fave are these four in their tight suits. What's the appeal really? It's okay and creative, but I find their smiles to be CREEPY! Is it only me, or are some of the shows on this channel really weird???


Sickos in Strathmore

I'm upset and disgusted with the kind of people who would terrorize and assault a child, and I pray that Lilia never has to experience that kind of horror.

That said, why on earth would a parent let their 14 year old child wander around town (even small Strathmore) not just after midnight, but alone! Okay she was going to get a slurpee? Fair enough, someone should have been with her. This child nor her parents are not to blame, but I really don't think it's appropriate for a child to be out alone that late. Torie, Corinne and Keri will all disagree as they grew up here and they did the same thing, and that's fine. It's not something Lilia will be doing. Especially since Strathmore is growing and changing.

I'm so angry about this because I don't understand why parents aren't more concerned and connected to their kids. Why would you bother having a child if you're just going to let them grow up to be pricks who will assault little girls?!?!?! I hope these sickos get the crap kicked right out of them.

Baby spends half the night in her bed!

This just in!!!!!!
Lilia spent four hours sleeping in her crib last night! This is big news as she's never even slept five minutes in it before.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Torie is an old man

Torie's 10 year high school reunion is upon us....this Saturday actually and it' s made me think, oh holy Jerry! (Jesus' brother) I'm almost 30! You know when you're in high school and you figure, oh when I'm 28 I'll have an awesome job, I'll be married, I'll own a house, I'll have travelled the world. Who puts those ideas into our heads? Who determined that those are the rules to follow once the crap experience of high school has ended?

Torie and I have a child and jobs we enjoy but we are a long way from owning a home or traveling the world in the way we'd like. I hate that society puts such emphasis on status and stuff. Ooooo let's go get stuff! Let's own lots of objects! We're better than you because we have a house full of crap! George Carlin says it best... Anyways, I'm looking forward to this party so that I can show off my daughter as she's way cuter than any of those ugly babies born to fugly parents.

A Blog Begins

Welcome to the nuthouse!
As a first timer at this blogging business, I figure, what the nuts! Facebook can only tell you so much. Besides, who wouldn't want a daily, play-by-play of how often my kid had her diaper changed, or who showed up to the latest family event!

So I offer you the following commandments:
-Please read with an open mind as I'm likely to offend you
-Please leave comments in a fun yet constructive manner. If you are only trying to make me cry, I'll see to it that you are karate chopped right in the junk
-Remember that all of us Hemings are people too-even though we may act like celebs from time to time.